Learning from tragedy: Wives of RAIDR 21 crash victims brief Barksdale

  • Published
  • By Senior Airman Allison M. Boehm
  • 2nd Bomb Wing Public Affairs
BARKSDALE AIR FORCE BASE, La. --  Every member of a military family dreads the possibility of a loved one not returning home. Two military spouses, who lived such a tragedy, have decided to share their experience in hopes it will help others.

Ursula Martin and Cheryl Dodson, wives of RAIDR 21 crash victims, Col. George Martin and Capt. Michael Dodson, have found "the beauty" of their circumstances and now visit bases throughout the country sharing their story and message of survival.

On July 21, 2008, RAIDR 21, a B-52 bomber from Barksdale, home of Air Force Global Strike Command, lost radar contact and crashed into the Pacific Ocean just off of Andersen Air Force Base, Guam. None of the six crew members on board survived.

"You never expect anything like this will ever happen to you," said Mrs. Dodson. "I married my husband knowing he may go up in an airplane and not come home, but never thought it would happen to us. Then without warning, you get that knock on your door - It's hard to come to terms with, but our husbands were doing what they loved."

For Mrs. Dodson, the next 48 hours after the crash were unbearable, and for both women, the road to where they are now was an uphill battle--but they agree they would not be where they are today without the resources that were available to them and urge others to take advantage of those programs.

"When the accident first took place, there was a two-week time period where I physically could not make it out of bed," said Mrs. Dodson. "All I could do was stare at his picture all night, then sleep all day because of sheer exhaustion. It felt like time was at a stand-still until I met a military spouse who had lost her husband in an aviation accident years prior. She sat with me for hours and comforted me. To see her smiling, to hear her words of encouragement, to hear her tell me she was able to remarry and still loved her first husband and missed him every day, but was still able to live--I wanted that for myself. She gave me the strength I needed to get out of bed, brush my teeth and start living again.

"I look at my life now and think 'wow, I can do things," she said. "I can smile, I can be happy. It was that woman sharing her life with me that made me know that one day, I would be okay. I want to share that with other spouses who are in that dark place that I was in initially."

Mrs. Martin and Mrs. Dodson, who consider themselves the survivors of RAIDR 21, now share their emotional experience with spouses, commanders and anyone willing to listen in hopes that they too will one day be able to find the beauty in the difficulty in life's unforeseen events.

For spouses who have encountered a loss, Mrs. Martin and Mrs. Dodson, encourage spouses to become familiar with the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. TAPS offers immediate and long-term emotional help, hope and healing to anyone grieving the death of a loved one in the military service to America, regardless of their relationship to the deceased or the circumstances of death.

"For me, TAPS was exactly what I needed to help me get back on my feet," said Mrs. Martin. "The military can only do so much; TAPS pick up where the military leaves off. To be surrounded by spouses who have gone through similar experiences and see them laughing and smiling--I knew that in time, I would get there too."

In addition to formal resources such as the Key Spouses Program and the Airman and Family Readiness Center, they also encourage spouses to stay actively engaged in their general community and with other spouses.

The women shared their story to show others they are continuing to support the military as they continue the unpredictable course their lives have taken.

"We want to make our husbands proud and keep their memory alive," said Mrs. Martin. "By helping others who are walking in our shoes, we hope they can become empowered through themselves and their resources."

Although for both wives, not a day goes by that they don't think about their husbands, they believe and hope others find the beauty in their situation and are empowered by it.

"We all have a choice between a life full of happiness and joy or a life that is far less-fulfilling, said Mrs. Dodson. "Life is what you make of it. There is beauty in everything, even in the most awful and tragic of circumstances. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder or change the angle you are looking from, but the beauty is there."