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COMMENTARY: Forgiveness

By Chaplain (Capt.) Meade Adams 2nd Bomb Wing Chapel

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Grudges are the precursor to the death of relationships. How many of you have had strained relationships with siblings from things dating back to childhood? Or strained relationships with parents because of how they raised you? Or strained relationships with spouses or children because of your inability to let go? Grudges and unforgiveness do nothing for us, but do a whole lot against us. So many of us are stuck in the past that the past has invaded our present and future relationships. How many marriages have issues because one or both partners are bringing baggage from previous relationships that they are now projecting into their current relationship? What about parenting models that are more about reactions to how you were raised than what is actually best for your child? At the end of the day, a whole lot of us need to practices the art of letting go.

Grudges and resentment is like a cancer. It will do nothing to harm the person you’re holding the grudge against, but will eat away at you a little bit at a time. It will hold you hostage and ruin your present and future relationships. The remedy of course is forgiveness. Contrary to the old adage “forgive and forget”, true forgiveness is not about forgetting—it is about releasing. It is the releasing of the attachment to the identity of “one who was wronged” or the “victim”. It is the relinquishing of your desire for vengeance or payback and simply letting it go. You are not a victim, you have a choice. You are not “the wronged one”, you are more than that. You can choose to be free. Choose forgiveness today for the sake of your present and future relationships and see what a difference it will make.